My least favorite thing: when I'm working on a book that won't be published for 2-4 years and a close family member assumes it's already out and I have to break it to them, yet again, that NOPE, publishing doesn't work that fast.
Step two: family member reminds me I should write to Oprah so she can help promote my books.
Me: Um, it doesn't work that way. Plus, she's really busy.
Family Member: But everyone probably thinks the way you do, so other authors aren't sending her books!
I'd like to think I'd go #4 (jokingly (?) 'whatabout' them), or even #7 (NDA trek through the desert), but... I'd probably just give them #5 (yikes face).
This is perfection! 😂 One of my “favorites” is “How’s the book selling??” I always want to respond with, “Ok, but it would be better if you bought a dozen copies right now.” 😂
Baby is sleep regressing is perhaps the best metaphor for writing ever: like, yay, it's working, got some solid hours and pages and it's all going WAAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAH what worked last week/month/day is not working today. Sigh.
My least favorite thing: when I'm working on a book that won't be published for 2-4 years and a close family member assumes it's already out and I have to break it to them, yet again, that NOPE, publishing doesn't work that fast.
Step two: family member reminds me I should write to Oprah so she can help promote my books.
Me: Um, it doesn't work that way. Plus, she's really busy.
Family Member: But everyone probably thinks the way you do, so other authors aren't sending her books!
Hahahhahaha yes yes, just DM her
I'd like to think I'd go #4 (jokingly (?) 'whatabout' them), or even #7 (NDA trek through the desert), but... I'd probably just give them #5 (yikes face).
This is perfection! 😂 One of my “favorites” is “How’s the book selling??” I always want to respond with, “Ok, but it would be better if you bought a dozen copies right now.” 😂
YES. Maybe we need to brainstorm some varieties on the "how is it selling" theme.
"Better than tickets for the Titanic, less good than tickets for Taylor Swift?"
"Better than Victrolas, less good than Viagra?"
Take it from there, Liz--you're the humor writer, not me! :)
Ha! I love these! I’ll have to try to brainstorm after some coffee! 😂☕️
“How’s the book selling” — STRAIGHT TO JAIL
Absolutely!! 😂🤯
I'm going to just start saying, "It's illegal for you to ask me that" in Tim Robinson's voice lol
GODSPEED with the sleep regression!!! I don't miss those!
How did I not think of that!!!!!!! That and “I’M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT”
Baby is sleep regressing is perhaps the best metaphor for writing ever: like, yay, it's working, got some solid hours and pages and it's all going WAAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAH what worked last week/month/day is not working today. Sigh.
The baby-as-book metaphor is limitless
Hilarious!